


Thirty

by soulmetalfairy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Hurt Sam Winchester, I'm Sorry Sam, Protective Dean Winchester, Scared Dean, Scared Sam, Season/Series 08, Seizures, Sick Sam Winchester, Winchester Feels, Worried Dean, trial sickness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 13:21:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8626084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulmetalfairy/pseuds/soulmetalfairy
Summary: Dean only wanted the best for his brother on his 30'th birthday, but thanks to the trials, trial sickness begins to crash the party. Dean does his best to help Sam through it, but even then there are times when he can't always keep his brother from being affected by the tolls of the trials.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I've started to find a pattern where I like writing stories where Sam is the one in trouble. So here's another one that I couldn't help but write. All characters belong to their respectful owners. Please enjoy.

Dean knew that today was going to be a rough day for Sam when he saw his brother walk in from the bedrooms. He didn't have to look up to tell that Sam was exhausted still. It was written all over the way his feet shuffled across the floor, or the way that he was hunched over himself, arms holding the blanket tightly around his thinning frame.

'' Morning Sammy.'' Dean said, turning back to the pan in front of him. He had hoped, considering what today was, that it would start OK. It was starting to look like it wouldn't, but he wasn't going to let that ruin the fact that he'd woken up early that day to make his brother some breakfast. '' Eggs are almost done if you want any.'' Dean said. He heard one of the chairs pull out from the table, followed by a quiet sigh as Sam sank into it.

'' Not hungry.'' Sam mumbled. Dean looked back to his brother. He took in the sunken pale features of his face, and the sheen of sweat that was across his brow.

'' Come on Sammy. You can't go hungry, you didn't eat at all yesterday.'' Dean said. '' Plus, you have to keep up your appetite for tonight.'' Dean reminded.

'' Why's that?'' Sam asked. He let his head fall forward, resting it on the cool surface of the table. His head was pounding with the beat of his heart, making his vision swim unless he was sitting still. It had been a battle just to get this far, and he'd hoped not to move any for at least a few hours. 

'' You seriously don't remember?'' Dean asked.

'' Is the world going to end again or something?'' Sam shot back. Dean let out a sigh, turning off the stove when he deemed breakfast to be done. He spooned out a good amount for Sam, added a few pieces of buttered toast onto the plate, and took it over to his brother. He sat it down in front of Sam, who never lifted his head to see what it was.

'' May 2'nd. Happy birthday Sammy.'' Dean said. That got his brother to move, who looked up to him with surprised eyes. Those eyes were also filled with something else, something that looked more like confusion.

'' I didn't remember.'' Sam said, his face suddenly paling at the sight of the food. Sam put his head back against the table, hoping to forget the sight so he wouldn't loose his stomach right then and there.

'' It's alright Sam.'' Dean said. He noticed the way that his brother pushed away the food. He began to think that maybe Sam was in more discomfort than he realized, so he took the plate, and put in in the fridge after wrapping it. He could eat later when he thought he could. '' Truth be told, I would've forgotten to had I not seen the calendar last night.'' Dean admitted. He knew it was a lie. Like hell would he forget his brothers own birthday.

'' Sure you did.'' Sam saw right through the lie, but played along anyway. A shiver ran up his spine, and it was enough to make the table shake a little. Dean couldn't help but reach across, and set a hand on his head. Sam's skin was hot against his own, almost like hew as on fire. Dean quietly added a fever to the list of things that he'd have to get under control by the end of the day. He wasn't going to let Sam suffer. Not today. It's not right to let a person suffer on their birthday. He let his hand rest there for awhile, and he felt the way that Sam sort of leaned into the touch. It was clearly a comfort to him, a comfort that pierced the pain his body was in. These trials were taking much more of a tole on him than he liked.

'' Come on Sammy. You've got a fever, you better take something.'' Dean said, his hand sliding off of Sam's head as he stood from the table.

'' It won't stay down.'' Sam said. '' And it won't help any. It's never helped before.'' He added.

'' Humor me then Sam. I'm just trying to help.'' Dean said, going to where he kept the fully stocked med kit up in the cabinets. He pulled it down, finding the bottle of Tylenol at the top. He picked it up, pouring about three capsules into his hand. He then grabbed a glass, and filled it with water before returning to the table. '' Take them Sammy.'' Dean said, dropping the capsules into his brothers open palm. Sam just stared at them for a moment until the glass of water pressed into his other hand. He quickly swallowed the capsules, and took a gulp of the water before setting it back down on the table. He buried his face in his arms as another full body shudder ran up his spine.

'' This sucks.'' Sam mumbled. His hands gripped the material of the blanket over his shoulders, pulling it tighter around himself to rid of the chill.

'' I know it sucks Sam.'' Dean moved toward the chair Sam was seated in. '' So why don't we get you somewhere a little more comfortable to rest? Maybe out on the old couch.'' Dean suggested. Sam didn't answer, but a quick nod of his head told him that Sam was alright with this idea. So Dean helped to get his brother back to a stand, but found that Sam had to lean on him quite a lot for support. He was really out of it that was for sure. '' Alright, I got you Sammy. Let's go.'' Dean slowly and carefully maneuvered his way out of the kitchen with his new baggage, leading Sam towards what he deemed the family room. It had been one of the only rooms in the bunker that they had decided to refurbish with some new furniture. There was an old couch they'd found tucked away against the far wall, followed by two arm chairs that they'd found in one of the storage rooms of the bunker. Dean had scavenged enough money to afford a good TV set which sat on the other side of the room, along with a cable box, and a cord that could hook up Sam's laptop to the screen. That meant they could use sites like Netflix if there was nothing else on TV.

'' How you holding up Sammy?'' Dean asked, letting his hand rest on his brothers chest for a moment. He felt the way that his chest rose and fell rapidly, telling him that Sam really needed to sit down now.

'' Tired.'' Sam breathed out.'' Cold.''

'' Hold up Sammy.'' Dean got him to the couch, and unceremoniously dropped him onto the cushions. Sam immediately curled up on himself, pulling the blanket over himself in a tight ball. Dean reached for one of the blankets he kept at the end of the couch, and quickly added it to the one that Sam had now. With the new warmth of this blanket Sam seemed to relax a little, sinking into the warmth of it.

'' Warm.'' Sam mumbled into the blankets, pulling them a little tighter.

'' Yeah, I know you are.'' Dean whispered, patting his brother on the shoulder. Sam didn't respond to what he said, so Dean looked down to his brother. What he saw was his brother face, completely relaxed in sleep as he let out soft short snores. '' you only just woke up, and here you are asleep again.'' Dean mumbled. He gave Sam's shoulder a quick squeeze, and then stepped back from him. If Sam wanted to sleep on his birthday, he could sleep. Just as long as he was awake for what Dean had planned for later, which meant he had to make a call. So he left the room, hoping Sam would stay asleep long enough for him to have things ready, or at least started by the time that he woke up.

 

\---

 

_'' A cake? What is a cake?''_

'' I've told you Cas. It's a treat that's made often for people on their birthdays. I wanted to make one for Sam, but there's not enough stuff here to make it, and I can't leave him alone in his condition. Think you can pick one up?'' Dean asked into the phone.

_'' I can try. Where will I procure such a thing?''_

'' You can try at a food store, or Wal-Mart. You'll know what to do when you get there.'' Dean said.

_'' What, wait Dean. I don't know what to do.''_

'' Trust me, they'll ask you.'' Dean said. He began to hear what sounded like footsteps, and turned to see what looked like a shadow in the hall. '' I've gotta go. I'll talk later.'' Dean said.

'' Wait, De-'' Dean hung up on the flustered angel, and turned back towards the door where he saw his brother walk into view. His head was hung low, hair hiding his eyes while he held the blanket close to his body. '' Sammy, you alright?'' Dean asked.

'' I was thirsty.'' Sam said, shivering slightly as he looked up to Dean. He caught sight of the bruising under his eyes, and the way that his eyes seemed distant, almost not there. '' I just wanted some water.''

'' Here.'' Dean walked over to the nearby sink, and quickly pulled a glass down to fill. When it was full he turned back to Sam, handing the cup over. '' You still look out of it, are you feeling any better at all?'' Dean asked. Sam took the cup in a shaky hand, and shook his head to indicate that he didn't feel any better. '' Let me see.'' Dean stepped closer, hand sneaking under the shaggy tangled mess of his brothers hair to press to his forehead. Sam was still on fire, getting pretty close to what Dean would call _Ice Bath_ temp. '' You're still warm.''

'' 'm fine.'' Sam mumbled.

'' You're not fine.'' Dean said. '' Come on, you need to rest. If that fevers not down in an hour you're getting an ice bath.''

'' Don't wanna.'' Sam mumbled, not fighting the hold Dean had on his shoulders as he pushed him towards the living area.

'' You're gonna if that fever doesn't come down Sam. No arguing.'' Dean said. He directed Sam back to the room, making sure that he sat back down on the couch. Sam quickly pulled the blanket back around himself, a shiver running through his body as he took a short sip off the water. '' Wait here for a moment. I'll be right back.'' Dean said. He made sure that Sam wasn't going to follow him before he left the room. He was going to make this quick. He only needed to retrieve two things, the first aid kit, and a cool rag. He'd try to get the fever down a little with it first before dumping his brother in an ice bath. He just hoped that it would work. When he had the items in hand he began to make his way back to where he'd left Sam. He wasn't sure how far he got to the room before he heard what sounded like glass shattering. It caught him off guard, which in tern sent him running for the room. When Dean stepped inside, what he found was his brother hunched over himself, hands at either side of his head, and the glass of water shattered on the ground.

'' Sammy?'' Dean stepped into the room, setting the items down on the nearby table to take a look at his brother. He knelt before him, a hand coming up to rest on his brothers shoulder. '' Sammy, talk to me. What's going on? Is it your head?'' Dean asked, trying to get through to Sam. Nothing was working. Sam wouldn't respond to anything he asked. Dean tried to get a good look into his brothers eyes, but all that hair hid them from his view. '' Sam. Say something?'' Dean begged. Sam's head moved, eyes coming up to look at him. Dean's mind threw into a panic when he saw how wide they were, and the blank expression that was on his face. Sam's mouth opened as if to say something, but nothing came out. All that came out was a garbled groan.

'' Sammy, come on. What's the matter?'' Dean watched for another moment, maybe two, and then Sam's eyes rolled back. Dean saw only the whites of his little brothers eyes as he fell from the couch to the floor bellow. '' SAM!'' He hit the floor with a loud thud, and that's when the tremors started. '' Shit, Sammy!'' The tremors were small at first, more like he was shivering. Then they began to grow into a full blown seizure, and his body shook violently. Dean sprang into action, first pulling Sam onto his side as best he could. He held him in place with one arm while he reached for the other blanket, and he quickly balled it up in his hands. He slid it under Sam's head, hoping that it would keep him from cracking his skull open against the floor. Dean made sure to keep  Sam's head at an angle, hoping it would aid in keeping his airways open. He'd read about people suffering from a seizure foaming at the mouth. While he'd never seen it happen to either Sam, or even their dad, he knew that it could obstruct their airway. He wasn't about to let Sam suffocate, and especially not today of all days. Dean ran a shaky hand over his face, knowing that there was nothing else he could do until the seizure had passed. He could only keep an eye on Sam, and keep him safe and comfortable until it passed. So that's what he did.

Dean wasn't sure how long had passed, but in the middle of his brothers seizing, his head shifted, and Dean caught sight of his eyes. Sam's eyes were wide, filled with fear and if Dean wasn't mistaken tears. Sam could see him. His eyes were clear, not glazed over like they had been when he went down. He was fully conscious of what was happening to him.

'' Oh god, Sammy.'' Dean set a hand on his brothers head, and it was enough to catch his attention. Sam's eyes looked up to him through the tremors, and that's when the tears began to fall. The fell across his cheek, falling to the cold floor below. Dean knew that there was nothing he could do to comfort his brother yet. He couldn't do anything till it had passed. So he waited just like he was. '' I'm with you Sammy. I'm not leaving you.'' Dean whispered, hand never leaving his brothers head. Sam's eyes stayed on him, and they never left as he also waited out the last of it. Maybe a minute passed, and then Sam's mouth opened up to let out a gut wrenching sound. To Dean, it sounded like all the fear, and pain he was feeling put into voice. It almost cracked Dean, but he stood his ground. He stayed right where he was, heavy hand on Sam's head as his brother let out another noise. Dean didn't even know what to call it. It wasn't a groan, but at the same time it wasn't a scream. It was just a noise, a noise that showed Dean exactly what Sam was feeling. '' Just hold on Sammy. It's OK, I got you.'' Dean said.

Five minutes later the tremors stopped.

It was slow at first, only slowing to small twitches in his arms and legs. Then his body began to still, and then it stopped. The seizure stopped, and Sam fell still.

'' Sammy? You still with me?'' Dean asked, hand moving from his brothers head to his shoulder. He immediately felt the shaky rise and fall, indicating that Sam was still breathing, but it was erratic. '' Sam?''

'' De-'' A shaky hand wrapped around his wrist, the grip light on him. He let out a quiet sob, his entire body shaking with the force of it.

'' Hey, hey, it's OK. You're OK Sammy. You're fine.'' Dean didn't dare move him. He wasn't about to throw Sam back into what had happened. So instead he maneuvered to the floor, laying out on his side beside of Sam. '' You're OK.''

'' De-. No.'' Tears slipped out of Sam's eyes as he clamped them shut, and ducked his head so Dean couldn't see his face. His breathing was starting to pick up, sounding more like fast wheezing than actual breathing.

'' Hey, don't do that Sam. Calm down, you've wound yourself up.'' Dean said. Sam only shook his head at what he said. He'd known what was happening the entire time. He'd felt every shake, every tremor of his body as he seized. He'd felt everything, and it was overwhelming.

'' Can't.'' Sam whimpered, starting to shake like a leaf in front of him.

'' Yes you can.'' Dean said. '' Just breath. You have to breath for me Sammy, just breath.'' Sam shook his head again, unable to control his breathing. Dean knew it was a loosing battle, so he did what he thought would work. He moved closer, arms wrapping around his brothers tense frame, and he pulled him close. He tucked Sam's head under his chin, one hand reaching up to tangle in his way too long hair. The other hand rubbed circles into his back, a soothing gesture to calm him. '' It's OK Sammy. You're alright, so please, just try to breath for me.'' Dean said.

'' Dean.'' He felt Sam burry his face into his chest as he let out a shaky breath.

'' That's it Sammy. Just keep breathing for me, and you will be alright.'' Dean encouraged. Sam practically melted into the touch, his breath starting to even out as his body finally began to relax. Dean felt what appeared to be a wet spot on his shirt, so he looked down to his brothers face, and saw that there were still tears falling. '' What's wrong?''

'' I knew.'' Sam mumbled. '' Felt it.''

'' I know you did Sammy.'' Dean said, rubbing smaller circles into Sam's back. '' It's over now. You're OK, and it's over.'' Sam nodded, head never moving from where it sat. Dean wasn't sure how long they had actually sat on the floor, but they had been there for awhile. Sam had relaxed by now, and was most likely asleep. One quick look at his face told Dean that he was asleep. Poor kid had worn himself down. Then again, that's what happens when you have a seizure that long. Dean was beginning to maneuver his way out of the arms wrapped around him, but there was a voice from overhead that caught him off guard.

'' Dean, why are you on the floor?''

'' Cas?'' Dean looked up to the angel, who was watching them with a box sitting in his hands.

'' Is it customary for you to cuddle with Sam on the floor like that?'' He asked. Dean's cheeks burned red as he scrambled out of the hold.

'' He wouldn't calm down. I had to do something.'' Dean said. '' Put that down for a moment, and help me out alright?'' Dean asked. Cas put down the box, and went to the other side of Sam. Each of them took an arm, and began to pull him up. They set him on the couch, and when they had him situated Dean placed one of the blankets over him.

'' What happened to him?'' Cas asked.

'' He had a seizure. The trial sickness is really taking a toll on his body.'' Dean said. He reached down to brush the hair out of his face, and let his hand linger for a moment to check for a temperature. He still had one, so Dean reached for the cool cloth he'd brought in earlier, and he placed it on his forehead. '' His fever must've spiked or something. I don't know of anything else that could've caused it.'' Dean admitted.

'' Sam will be fine.'' Cas said. '' He's gotten through worse.''

'' I know, that's what worries me.'' Dean said. Remembering that Cas had brought a package with him, he turned back to the angel. '' Did you get it?'' Dean asked.

'' Yes I did.'' Cas said, holding up the box for Dean to see. While balancing it on one arm, he opened the lid, revealing the treat hidden inside. Dean's face lit up at the sight. He knew for sure that Sam was going to like it. No. He was going to love it.

'' This is great. Sam's going to love it.'' Dean said.

'' What else is there to do?'' Cas asked.

'' Not much. The rest is already set. Come on.'' Dean began to walk for the door.

'' Where are we going?'' Cas asked.

'' He'll be out for at least an hour or two, giving us some time to get things ready. Come on already.'' Dean led Cas away from the sleeping Winchester, leaving him alone to rest.

 

\---

 

It was a battle to open his eyes when he came to.

Sam let a groan pass his lips as a blurry sight of the living area filled his eyes. His head was fuzzy, and felt like it was stuffed with cotton as he pulled himself out of sleep. He could still remember what had happened before, and understood that it must've been why he still felt like he'd been hit by a bus. He reached up with one hand, ready to wipe at his face, but found that there was something resting on his head. He pulled it back, finding that it was a wet cloth that had long ago lost the cooling feel it had once held. He knew Dean must've put it there.

'' I was wondering when you'd finally wake up again.'' Filtered in a voice. Sam glanced towards the door, and found someone standing there. It took him a moment to pick out who it was, but when he did he clearly recognized his brother.

'' Dean?'' Sam pushed himself up to a sitting position, letting himself lean into the back of the couch for a moment. '' How long was I out?'' He asked.

'' Almost three hours little brother.'' Dean said. He walked over to the couch, procuring a glass of water. '' Here. You need to stay hydrated.'' Dean said. Sam took the cup with a grateful look, and both noticed that this time the glass didn't shake in his hands. It looked like the worst of the fever had broke for now.

'' That long huh?'' Sam asked around a swallow of water. Damn, he hadn't realized just how thirsty he really was.

'' Yeah. It was pretty long, but it was good in the end.'' Dean said.

'' Good how? I had a seizure.'' Sam said.

'' It was good because you got the rest you needed, and we got something ready for you.'' Dean said.

'' We? Who's we?'' Sam asked.

'' You'll see.'' Dean said. He took the glass back from him, setting it on the table beside the couch. '' Come on, it's waiting.'' Dean said. He held out a hand to his brother, who took it with a grateful smile. Dean helped him up, keeping a hand on Sam's arm when he stumbled forward for a moment. Sam reached back to grab the blanket, throwing it over one of his shoulders before they proceeded to the other room. Dean led him along, never staying to far from Sam's side in case he fell.

'' What's this all about Dean?'' Sam asked.

'' You remember what I told you this morning don't you?'' Dean asked.

'' About it being my birthday, yes I remember.'' Sam said.

'' We'll I know that you'd want to just have a normal day, but I couldn't let that slide. I wanted to do something for you, so I got some help.'' Dean explained.

'' Help?''

'' Let's just say I called a certain angel.'' Dean said. '' You'll see in a moment.'' Dean let him the rest of the way to the map table. When they turned the corner, Sam was astonished at what he saw.

There were streamers strung up across the room. Blue and white stretching all around in twisting patters. There was a dark blue table cloth draped over the only wooden table, where a box sat in wait.

'' Hello Sam.'' Cas greeted from where he stood at the table. '' It's good to see that you are walking about. I heard what happened earlier.'' Cas said.

'' I;m fine. Don't worry....  What is all of this?'' Sam asked.

'' I already told you. I wanted to do something for you, so I called Cas. He helped me put this together.'' Dean led his brother towards the table, where he pulled out a chair for him to sit in. '' Sit.'' Sam didn't argue, taking the seat before Dean would force him down.

'' So, do I have to guess what's in the box?'' Sam asked, looking back to Dean.

'' Nope.'' Dean looked over to Cas, who took his cue to grab the box. He opened it up, pulled something out, and set it on the table before Sam. Sam's eyes went wide at the sight of it. The item was a cake. The cake was simple in decorations. It was just some white icing with a little decoration around it, but on the top there was some writing.

_Happy Birthday Sammy!_

Sam let a bright smile cross his face as he looked up towards his brother.

'' Happy birthday Sammy.'' Dean said, hand resting on his shoulder. '' I would've got candles, but I didn't think that you would want to if you were sick.'' Dean said.

'' No it's OK Dean.'' Sam said. '' It's fine.'' Emotion bubbled un inside of Sam as he looked back to the cake. He didn't think Dean would actually bother with his birthday this year, but he had. He still cared about him, even after all that had happened.

'' You alright Sammy?'' The question caught him off guard for a moment. That was when Sam noticed that his eyes were stinging, and his face felt hot like he was flush.

'' Sorry.'' Sam mumbled, ducking his head.

'' Geez. Just don't go all chick flick moment on me bro. It's not cool.'' Dean said.

'' Right.'' Sam said, looking back at his brother.

'' Now why don't we dig into this cake?'' Dean asked, reaching for the knife set beside the box for him to cut it.

'' Yeah.'' Sam said. '' I'd like that.'' Dean smiled down at Sam, who returned the smile as they turned back to the treat to serve it up.

_Best, birthday, Ever_ Sam thought.


End file.
